Asakiyume mita

When I see a delivery van--Amazon, UPS, Fedex--I always think maybe they'll bring me a package. I think this even when I haven't ordered anything. Maybe a friend has ordered me something. Or, for example ...

A UPS van pulls into the driveway, and the driver hands me a small parcel with my name and address on it. Then takes out his phone and snaps a picture of me.

"Boss's orders," he smiles.

"Wait what? That doesn't sound right. UPS ordered you to take my picture?"

"Heh, yeah... UPS," he says with a wink, and drives off.

Flustered, I open the package. Inside is a steel dagger with a cloisonné handle. The accompanying note says, "Many thanks for a job well done. I'll be in touch."

WHAT? This is clearly a case of mistaken identity, and yet the name and address on the package are mine.

Just then I get a text from an unknown number. "You're older than I expected," it says (rude!), followed by the photo the UPS driver just took.


... Like that. That's what I imagine when I see a van making deliveries in the neighborhood. One thing, anyway...